Lesson #9

"As happens sometimes, a moment settled and hovered and remained for much more than a moment. And sound stopped and movement stopped for much, much more than a moment. Then gradually time awakened again and moved sluggishly on." - John Steinbeck; Of Mice and Men

Lesson #8

Mr King
Nerina Pallot
(listen)

Good days, bad days, I've had a few of those.
Same old story - I know how this song goes,
At least, I did, but now I'm not so sure.
Nothing's in its place, nothing's certain anymore..
Birds fly. Trees sway. Why can't I be like that?
Happy knowing what I am, in fact, and leaving be?
But truth has been obscured -
I am only human and I'm always wanting... more.

Oh the world is a place, and the say its on our side,
But I wonder, is there comfort in those moments when we die?
Now I see, Mr King, this was in the books you gave me -
Which I read, disbelieving, thinking poets are depressed.
Oh, Mr King, I have changed, I confess.

Oh those good days I remember well:
Tape on windows, wintertime was hell
But it was fun, and people there were kind -
There was good work to be done, and I learnt to think my time.

And the world was a good place, and in days were where I lived
I imagined life had purpose and I'd something good to give.
Mr Cave played along on the battered hallway piano -
Oh every love song a secret to be shared.
Oh, Mr King, how I wish I was back there.

Now, I've got 10 things lined up on a shelf
Reasons to be cheerful for myself.
I don't know why you're showing me the sky -
You say you see heaven,
I see hell, but want to try.

And the world is a place, and I pray it's on my side,
But I'd find greater comfort if I just lay down and died.
I don't know what's become of the girl who once knew sunshine,
What's become of the girl who knew sorrow but was strong?
Oh, Mr King you were right, all along;
Mr King you were right.
Oh Mr King, you were right - I was wrong.

A review: Damien Rice in concert

Date: February 25, 2007
Time: 7.30pm
Venue: The Tivoli

It was the last sold out venue in his Australian tour. The Tivoli was the perfect place for an intimate musician like Damien Rice. The crowd spilled into the room and everyone scattered to find the most decent spot to enjoy the concert. Many secured the balcony with a first class view up above. With seats. Either on velvet cushions or on the polished wooden floor. I, with an incompetent height, decided the leftest corner by the stage with the speakers just right beside my ears. As time passed, I would learn to appreciate the very spot I have chosen. It did not matter that my knees were about to collapse after standing for an hour plus outside, with roughly four hours plus more to go. There, I waited patiently.

The crowd welcomed Fionn Regan eagerly. He wore a hat. He carried a suitcase and played two guitars alternatively with his initials duct-taped on the surfaces. Hailed from the same country and signed under Damien Rice's label, Heffa, Fionn's voice was of a young Damien Rice. His music brought the crowd back to the vintage days of black and white, a relaxed stroll in the park with the master and mistress. You could almost see a fountain with a cupid statued in the center. Although his melody was leaning more towards the genre of country folk, and a tad bit more cheerful, his lyrics were written with the same ink of simplicity Damien uses for his songs. When he sang about a girl and going on a date with the girl, he sang about the girl and going on the date with her. There were no pretenses or hidden meanings. After every song, he would tip his hat gratefully and thanked the crowd for their support.

After's Fionn's hour long set, there was a short interval before the lights dimmed down once again and Damien Rice emerged last after his band members, cellist Vyvienne Long, bassist Shane Fitzsimmons and backing vocalist Lisa Hannigan. Later, Damien would explain Tom Osander, a.k.a Tomo's absence: he has "beautiful important things" to tend to. He opened with, of all songs, a B-side, The Professor. The crowd embraced it with a heartwarming applause. It was unexpected when Lisa stepped up and took on the second verse. I was literally captivated by her hoarse low-toned voice. There I stood, shackled by her spell as she sang, "Cry when I should, and I laugh when I could" and sang, "But he's the professor and he thought that he should know what makes me comes, what makes me stay..." If I were ever still a little girl, I would wish to grow up and be like her.

Damien proceeded with a string of songs, interlacing beloveds from both O and 9. Only then he noticed the crowd and decided to have a little chat as he tried to figure out what to do next. One thing I noticed about Damien was he was not a person for small talks. He did not seem to do well with spontaneous speeches. He struggled to find the next and right words to say, but ended up with babbles that was not funny, yet the crowd decided to laugh anyway. But there were no stutters and second thinkings every time he started off a new song. He performed with his heart and the band harmonised with him in one accord. Every beat his heart took was right with Vyvienne's wailing cello, Shane's supporting bass and Lisa's haunting chords. Even the lights changed colours and went off and on, all at the precise moments.

Damien basically performed all of the songs off O, a territory most of the crowd was more familiar with compared to 9. They sang along to favourite tracks like Delicate and Cannonball. They cheered for Rootless Tree when Damien drifted fluently into it after Volcano. They applaused as Damien took a seat at the forsaken piano for it was a cue for the self-pitiful 9 Crimes. They clapped their hands along Coconut Skins of contradicting lyrics and rhythm. Someone asked for more B-sides and instantly, he strummed the opening chords to Rat Within the Grain. Maybe the crowd did not know what song it was because they were a moment stunned when he started, but it was one of my favourite B-sides. "I only wanted to be wonderful and wonderful is true. In truth I only really wanted to be wanted by you". Everyone loved it.

He introduced I Remember as a song of changing our minds. Carefully, Lisa thread the first part before Damien took hold with his guitar and blew the crowd away. The speaker was right next to me and I could feel the anger (literally) vibrating my skin and bones as he screamed words I failed to remember.

Damien said fuck the French, for the Australians made better wines as Lisa filled up wine glasses and passed them around the stage. Only when he took hold of the bottle did he realise the wine was made in New Zealand. "You guys are all the same." He attempted to joke. So maybe he was funny there. Everyone laughed as if drunk. (There was a bar in The Tivoli, after all). He followed up with a tale of a drunken guy and gal and slipped into Cheers Darlin' with Fionn not having a slightest clue what he was doing being called to play the piano solo.

Damien asked for the lights to go off. Vyvienne dipped the piano keys for a change and they eased into Cold Water in the dark. It was all coming to an end. This wonderful night. The crowd burst the seams with a full volume ovation - we were all already standing anyway - as Damien and co. thanked the marvellous crowd and bid us good night and goodbye. Yet every single person in the crowd knew it was not the end. Not yet. Something was still missing.

The ovation was long and undying, until Damien returned once again and decided to let us pick what he should sing last. Unlike his Melbourne set, where a fan was lucky enough to go on stage to perform with him, and the crowd got to compose a spur-of-the-moment song with him, the Brisbane fans were not given the slightest chance for song requests when he was stuck halfway through his set. It was either The Blowers' Daughter, Sand or Elephant. The vote was. Of course. The concert went on close to three hours. Damien and Lisa sang till almost midnight. "Till I find somebody new".

The O.C.logy : Favourite moments (Season 2)

I would probably regret what I am about to say here in years to come when I finally realise what a mindless show The O.C. is, just like I had done for Power Rangers. But. It is important right now to say that the show gets better actually, contrary to what the majority says. In my days spent watching the first two seasons over and over again, I can safely say that there is growth in between the seasons. Sure, there are some double-you-tee-eff moments - i.e Seth sailing off to Portland of all places when Ryan leaves Newport (I do not know about you, but that is just pleading for the gaydar to go off) - but when it comes down to it, some of the simplest things in the show makes sense. Something normal growing people can relate to. And here are my favourite moments for the second season. Surprise surprise, Alex and Marissa's relationship did not make the cut.

Favourite moment #1: Wham bam thank you ma'am!

I have never seen any shows kicked off their next season the way The OC did for season 2. I think it is probably the best one yet. It dove straight to the point and dealt with things they left off hanging by the cliff in the previous season. For the introduction to the season, I have three scenes I like.

The first is when Marissa called Ryan in the middle of the night. With Marissa left alone in Newport as Ryan left to take care of Theresa and her baby back in Chino. Marissa failed to say anything when Ryan picked up. Even though it was just her breathing on the other line, he could distinguish it was her. There was this heartbreaking connection and it went deep past the phone cord and signals, and straight through their heart.

It is just those times you have in your life when you would like to make a call to the person you care and/or like and hope to strike up a conversation and see things normal. But when the time comes, words fail you and what seems like a conversation that will run on for miles, becomes nothing but a mistake. A phone call that should have never been made. A phone call that should have never been answered. Just to keep things perfect and normal. And when you realise at that split second when there is nothing to say even when you would much like to talk the world away, that is when it hurts the most. Wanting to connect yet does not know how.

So maybe that is how it is with Marissa and Ryan. Their love is such a tragedy. What could be more hurtful than loving someone you know you cannot be with. It is just a simple mistake everyone makes in their lives. One too many times. We never learn, do we?

Call me sadistic, but I love this scene when Marissa exploded in front of her mom. Sometimes, life just get dramatic like that. (In Marissa's case, it is just the scriptwriters dramatising her life). One thing happens after another and there is nothing you can do but sit quietly at a corner and wait them all out. Every day, you question yourself if it is ever going to end. You fear if it is ever going to end. And as long as you hold your composure, as long as you do not slit your wrist or hang from the ceiling or gulp down a bottle of pills, everyone will assume you are alright. Maybe they just do not want to deal with the problem someone else is going through. Maybe they think their own shit is bad enough and that person is just exaggerating. So I guess we are alone like that in this world.

And when someone who cares actually swing by and ask really sincerely if she is holding up well, a heartfelt scream is suffice. Because. What words can describe her forsaken broken heart as she watched the one she loves walks away to be with another girl and it is only wise to take it as it is without a care of her own heart. What words can describe her trapped being when Caleb blackmailed her into staying with her mom, rather than her dad, the one she loves more than the other.

And sometimes, once or twice or thrice in every parent's life, they will lose their child as they themselves lose their way. It happens. Be patient with them. They are just trying to figure out the best way home. Everyone gets cranky when they are lost. Just like they do in Amazing Race.

And let us not forget every indie boy's vote for the cutest couple, Seth and Summer. Who knew Summer could change to become such a humane person as she falls in love. Ah, the power of love, they would say. But my heart goes out to Summer Roberts as Seth oh so cockily thinks she is just going to leap back into his arms and pick up where they left off after Seth up and ditched her when Ryan leaves. (Really, gaydar). Rachel Bilson did well here as she spoke the hearts and minds of every girl out there alike to Summer's situation. Especially when she confessed how she felt for the first time. (She has always been there but Seth was never satisfied). Maybe it comes with the package: bimbo = no feelings. (In truth, it is no brain, but OK). I am sure even bimbos have feelings.

It is just how a girl feels when a guy plays her hot and cold, whether it is all in the girl's head or it is all in the guy's doing for dissing and dismissing her. Coming and going as he pleases. It takes two to tango. And the worst thing is, she cannot really hate him for that because she loves him already. It would have been easier if her heart was not surrendered in the first place. Alas.

Favourite moment #2: Marissa, Ryan and the penguin

You should know by now I take pleasure in heart wrenching moments in the show. But I also find some scenes pretty humourous. Like this one for example. When Ryan offered to help Marissa with her props for the upcoming SnO.C dance without knowing what he is offering help on.

Honestly, it is a bit off, Ryan's character here, because usually he is the brooding wifebeater fellow instead of one who would make light of situations. But after his "Summer flu" and "Annabiotics" joke in season 1, I have a feeling they are going to disseminate more of Seth's comic relief onto this guy.

This scene is cute. Some Marissa/Ryan loving despite the whole Lindsey/Ryan loving coming up soon. But I guess it is just those simple moments in life you cherish with your friends, which can often be neglected when you decided it is a better idea to be more than friends. Yeah. Whose brilliant idea is that?

Favourite moment #3: Daddy's little girl

When Jimmy, Marissa's dad told her he would be leaving Newport to Maui to get his life straightened out, she was pissed and he was apologetic. He thought she was angry he was screwing up her life - getting the family bankrupt, divorcing with his wife, living below their usual status, and now leaving her - when actually, it was because she did not want him to leave. He was all Marissa had to keep herself from going insane from all the drama going on around her.

It was one of Mischa Barton's finest moments when she suddenly broke down and begged her father not to leave. I guess this is how a daddy's little girl would feel when daddy needs to leave. I am a daddy's little girl. Or. I was. Maybe still am. I would probably feel the same way and do the same thing if I were to find my dad gone with an indefinite and/or probably inexistent homecoming. But in my case, it was I who left first. Tag. You are it.

Besides that, I love it how Modest Mouse's World At Large just sits itself so perfectly next to Jimmy and Marissa huddled at the watch tower. It just turns on all the water tap, does it not? Kudos to the music team of the show.

Favourite moment #4: The forbidden fruit

All men with facial hair, an intention to rebel, and a surname "Buckley" is a dangerous territory every well-rounded woman would like to go.

In this episode (21. The Return of Nane), when Carter told Kirsten he was leaving for New York, and they stepped in for a hug, and when he kissed her after his farewell dinner, she seemed to really truly cherish the embrace and the kiss. Feel something she would never have a chance to feel anymore, and would probably be wrong to be feeling it in the first place. It hurts. Either way. Maybe this is how it feels knowing there is someone out there you think is decent enough for you, but you cannot be with him. In her case, it is because she is married to someone she (thinks) she loves. Not to say Sandy is a bad husband. But I guess. Sometimes, the person you trusts the most seems to disappear and the next best thing seems to be the best thing ever.

Kirsten confessed to Julie. How everything in her life fell apart when Seth and Ryan left for the summer, Sandy's old flame came back into the picture, and her dad's constant mischief. And Carter's oh so coincidental presence makes everything wrong seems right. It was probably the saddest thing to say. Coming from a person with everything so perfect for her, yet so empty.

I noticed that throughout the two seasons, Kirsten has not really broken down for real before. Even while dealing with Carter. I admire her fidelity, despite her strong feelings. Instead of sleeping with him, she would rather get shitfaced instead. She did succumb to alcohol in the end, but hey, even perfectionists are human too. We are bound to come undone at one point or another of our lives. And for Kirsten's case, I guess she has every right to. Not to mention a great chain reaction to the finale too.

Photo credit: Screencap Paradise