The great indoors

"It's the mother of us all. The reason we get up in the morning. The appliance that broadcasts so much love and demands nothing in return." - Glarkware.com

There was a time when I would laze around at home watching TV. I would get a little too lazy to dress up and go out. Most of the time because there is nothing much to do outside anymore and what is left is the good companionship of an idiot box and a thousand possibilities in alternate universes.

There is a television of 27- or 29-inch goodness with a mini home theatre system I can never figure out what sound comes from which one of those tiny speakers, and a PVC couch that gets uncomfortable to sit on sweltering hot days. Sometimes, if the electronic fan above my head provides just enough coolness, I can doze off watching MTV or Channel V or some random movie on one of the movie channels. If not, I would always sleep on the floor.

Other times I would be upstairs in my parents’ bedroom watching from a television set expired three times in its life. I would be there because I am too lazy to head downstairs or when the family is watching some Singapore or Hong Kong drama and I would rather watch Charmed or One Tree Hill. I am always the odd one out. Thus, the black sheep retreats to a lonesome confinement upstairs watching a series as equally dramatic as those downstairs.

Here, I have merely a television older than the one in my parents’ bedroom, delicately preserved from the 70’s. I itch for hometown’s satellite television of channels going by hundreds when I am reduced to only three channels to surf on idle days. Actually, I would rather sit in front of my laptop for hours than channel surf three pathetic channels. There is a constant rivalry between Channel 7 and Channel 9. Once, Channel 9 aired a commercial clearly dissing Channel 7 and later in the evening, the latter channel did the same showing Channel 9 news people snort-laughing and bit back “who’s laughing now?” Channel 10 stands at the side watching the catfight and laughing his head off.

1. The O.C

My guilty pleasure.

I remember once proclaiming “I just watch One Tree Hill. I don’t watch The O.C.” I said that because One Tree Hill was the only show airing back home. But when the season ended and The O.C was ready to fill in, I so eagerly awaited its premiere. I am such a hypocritical ass.

I jumped ahead of time in the Orange County land when I moved here. Back home we were just easing into the first season. When I got here, I did not even know how ahead the Aussies were. A lot has happened – not surprising for shows along this line, things just happen to take place in dramatic speed – and it took me a few episodes to find my bearing.

Again and again I will not put this show on top of my list because clearly everything is predictable and too surreal. Much like One Tree Hill, I can still see my double-you-tee-eff expression (although without a mirror needed to check my reflection) when Lucas Scott announced he would like to escape town with Uncle Sam (Haha, OK I know that is not his name) and Mommy later sat him down and threw him a line, which I guess should be tear-jerky: “There is only one tree hill.” Tear. Sheesh.

So yes, The O.C. Ryan Atwood/Cohen adapted a very dorky hairstyle in the third season. Seth Cohen still as adorably geeky with the ever chatty girlfriend Summer, whom I have grown to love since the first season’s bitchiness. Marissa Cooper. Hmm. One real fucked up girl indeed. But well, everyone knows what happened to her in the end so all’s well I hope.

I stuck with this show because there is seriously nothing better to watch on TV. Secondly, is the same reason I do with One Tree Hill. The soundtrack and background music. They are buried in a genre I love thus I stuck around and downloaded all of The O.C’s mix soundtracks save the third. I was crazy enough to hunt down the ultimate playlist for One Tree Hill. Who knows? I may do the same for The O.C.

There are also times – lately, every time - when I cry along with the songs because it hit too close to home and I just empatised too well. Sometimes, it can be this real.

2. Lost

The one show I watch going down the drain.

I hopped on the bandwagon way before Malaysia bought the show for AXN. I watched the entire first season on my 17-inch monitor screen and plugged to my old earphones. It could be a bummer when Torrents is acting up and I do not get the week’s show in one day’s time. Thursdays were long for me in college and Fridays were ungodly early. If the seeds served me right, I could watch the show past midnight. If not, I would have to suppress my anticipation until I come home from classes on Fridays.

My eyes were the widest. My breaths were a few minutes lost. My mind was always manipulated. My tears were never spared. The first season took my breath away and sailed Michael’s raft to the middle of the ocean.

My excitement for the second season died with the first episode. I did not hog the computer refreshing the Torrents page hoping to see a new episode up soon anymore. I found myself procrastinating till Monday to download the latest episode once. It became nonchalant. I was not really well into this season and I was off to Australia already. Here, they are a few episodes later than the U.S airtime so I rewatched some five episodes before a new one. They were already done with the finale and the Aussies were just cutting Claire some slacks. Mind you, being behind is not a big deal for me, seeing that I would eventually watch them all anyway. If I stay clear of the online communities I will risk myself being spoiled. There may be some satisfaction to finally watch the show on television too.

The tears do not fill up enough to spill all over for this season. Regardless, it is still one I will follow through. The producers are smart enough to create backstories and I love backstories. And messed up characters you would always hold your heart out for. There are so many puzzles to piece together and so many questions unanswered. Friends have asked me this and that as they watch some random episode. I can never answer well because even I myself do not really know what is going on. And that is the beauty of Lost. Not knowing anything. Because the whole picture will not be revealed until the lastest episode of all. And everyone in the whole wide world will be in one accord going “Oh…!”

3. The Amazing Race

Well, they started a new season and ever so conveniently came after Lost. So, I thought what the heck. The last time I watched this show was a long time ago and it was the first season and the gay couple won. After that, I failed to catch the new timeslot and just like that, I have missed seven seasons.

I love this show because they travel and I would love to travel around the world someday. See the boundless horizons of thousand sunsets and maybe find a home sweet home I never knew I have in the great outdoors. So I smile enthusiastically at the marvellous destinations and make a mental note to visit the place one day. I have so many yellow stick-on’s in my head I doubt I can remember all. In fact, I may have forgotten everything because I am as hopeless as Dory. I cannot remember to save my life.

I could not have cared less for the teams, really. Of course I would find myself favourites and hope they win. Most of the time, I anticipate the detours, roadblocks and occasional fastforwards. No doubt the nail-biting anxiety is there as teams rush to the pit stop but the adventure always only begin when they strap on a harness and bungee jump or choose a task over another that is destine to destroy their chance to win. The show manages to bring out the exoticness of the selected countries. This is what I love most about travelling. To get down and dirty with the culture itself. Roll in the mud for good luck or learn a traditional dance. Eat a bowl full of fried crickets or deliver a swordfish on your shoulders and by foot to a busy market.

The wonders of the world. They are an exhibition of pictures around you, waiting for you to open up your eyes. And see.

4. Rove Live

Rove McManus is just the most adorable talk show host ever. (Who would name their sons Rove anyway?) Such a short fellow for an Australian with a contagious smile that reaches his eyes.

I like his introductory stand-ups to kick off the show. They never fail to make me laugh. The jokes always have something to do with the latest happenings around the world. He was the one that pointed out the Channel 7 and Channel 9 public catfight. He just takes it into his court and makes a laughing matter out of it. Because this is how life should be scrutinised at. Funny. Mess something up, take a deep breath and see how ridiculous it looks being all lopsided. Tragedy of the world, see the brighter side of the globe. There is bound to be one. The grass does not grow greener on the other side for no apparent reasons.

Every week there will be a different house band on the podium racking up different versions of Rove’s theme song. All of them I have never heard before. All of them never given too much airtime but only those few seconds when they are back from commercials. But there will be guest performers at the end of the shows. I have seen Pete Murray performed. Jamie Cullum was on too but I could not be bothered to give him a few minutes of my life. Yes, I despise him that much. Ben Harper, The Whitlams, and oh I cannot remember the rest. Heh. Eskimo Joe is playing tonight so there. (Don’t mind me when I say this band never fails to remind me of Damien Rice due to his song Eskimo.)

Sometimes, the guests are boring. Be it those to be interviewed at the couch or by the table. Lately, Rove has been interviewing evictees from Big Brother. I do not watch that show because it is ridiculous period. So I cannot be bothered with the evictees and what they have to say. Depends on how funny the guests are, really. Nancy Cartwright swung by once and she was a doll. Some actor from the U.S came by once too but he was too unfunny and flatlined for me to remember his name. Paul Walker was in the studio once. Ah, I miss him in the latest The Fast and The Furious instalment.

Some spontaneous joke from a not so special episode will stick and for the next five episodes to follow they will be talking about merkins whenever they fucking can.

5. American Dad / Family Guy
The most brainlessly hilarious cartoons ever.

They are from the same production house so once in a while you will notice the same voices in two shows playing out two different characters. Should you give yourself a pat in the back for figuring it out? I do not know. Is it even an accomplishment to begin with? Maybe if you are a loser with no life.

The cartoons come after The Amazing Race. Obviously, Thursday nights are a full marathon for me from 8.30pm till midnight. So the mystery is solved: when my IM replies come fifteen minutes later, it was not because I was busy with my assignments or I have fallen down the toilet. I am merely occupied with the shows on TV.

We do not find these cartoons back home seriously because of its matured content. Characters are beat up till they are bleeding fountains and underage kids are making out with pensioners old enough to die the next day. A talking baby out to conquer the world and an obese guy naked. Don’t worry, you cannot see his penis past his humongous tummy spilling out anyway. The perks of being cartoons. You can be as ridiculous and surreal as possible. I will just laugh.

6. Scrubs

Half an hour of sheer stupidity in uniforms you trust your life and appendix and guts on.

I knew Zach Braff from Garden State and even then, his character was nothing like JD in the series. He did a good job being two sides of the penny. I refuse to take sides.

I skip the show sometimes back home because the timeslot was a little too early for me as I was still having dinner. Unless I have had my dinner, I would watch the show. If not, it will be missed. Same goes over here too. The timeslot is a teeny weeny bit fucked being the last show on the Thursday marathon. If I skip both cartoons mentioned before, I will definitely skip this show too.

As you can see, it is not a very spectacular show to begin with. Thus, the timeslot. Thus thus, constantly missed episodes. However, it is a fun show to watch. The world seen from an intern turned amateur doctor’s eyes. Dealing with issues of relationships and self-discovery and ethical beliefs to forget in order to gain respect from the superiors. Most of the time, it is just a young doctor finding his stance in the big big hospital under the watchful eyes of a creepy janitor and a discouraging mentor.

Oh and I like the introduction song. I had the song once from a mix but I deleted it. I cannot seem to recall the singer’s name. But it is a nice song.

Photo credits: TheOC.org, Wikipedia.org, RoveLive.com.